By Gregory Copploe

What does it mean to show up for another person and walk along side them on their journey with true empathy in mind? How do we get there, and what kind of a mindset does it take to walk a path along side someone else?

Brene Brown said it well, sympathy is not empathy. They are vastly different emotions and they don’t require the same bandwidth or energy. Their process is uniquely different and so is their alignment.

For example, Monday morning you arrive at work and you greet your colleagues and say good morning and not much happens. It’s a rote response that feels automatic and doesn’t require active listening or any emotional bandwidth. That being said, if we don’t engage in active listening, then we miss opportunities to show up for others.

So we go through the day on automatic pilot, and literally no connection is weaved from our energy to another, What if we engaged a little more and started active listening as we said our good mornings on Monday? Would we hear something different? If we engaged differently and picked up inflections in people’s voices, this information might tell us something about this person, about their weekend, or about their morning. By active listening we engage ourselves to show up in a person’s life in a meaningful way.

We understand the first example when we just pass through the day and say good morning and step into our offices or cubicles. Nothing happens and no real connection transpires. If we engage into a deeper listening state, we might hear that a person didn’t really have a good weekend or perhaps their good morning is weak and disconnected. If we decided to pursue that and ask the individual if they are doing ok, we show up in a different way, a way in which we can ignite empathy.

So in the disconnected model, Bob walks in on Monday morning and he says good morning and goes to his office and no one picks up on the fact that Bob didn’t have a good weekend. In an active listening state, we could easily pick up that Bob didn’t have a good weekend, and we could ask him if he’s ok. He might not want to talk about it, but if we make the conversation comfortable enough for Bob, he might open up and tells us more. By active listening and being full present for Bob, we can create a ripple effect that could change Bob’s life and also ours.

So let’s say Bob is open to talking about it, and he comes to your office to share some news. He explains that his dog died over the weekend, and that his 6 year old daughter, while holding the dog in her arms, looked up at him with her little blue eyes and asked him if he was going to go away too? He explains that he didn’t know how to answer that question and his eyes start to water a bit.

So imagine if we didn’t pick up on Bob’s voice inflection when he arrived to work Monday morning and Bob just went about his day and did his work. We wouldn’t have created the opportunity to show up for Bob in an authentic way, a way in which he needed us to show up that Monday morning. If we had good advice to give Bob, perhaps we had been through something similar, then Bob could go home and have a better answer to give his daughter. Someday his daughter might have children of her own, and she might be in a similar situation. She might remember the advice that was given and she might give the same advice to her children.

The ripple effect we create is endless when we show up. We have no idea how far it will go, and who it will affect. If we can just try a little harder to show up for others, and integrate some deeper listening into our lives, perhaps we can show up for others when they really need us. Perhaps we can truly make a difference and break free from the rote and routine of our lives, and choose to connect and be present so that we can maximize our potential here on this volatile planet. Some people might think why bother, it’s not our business to meddle in other people’s lives, especially at work.

I have a brief but swift answer to all of that. If we don’t show up, then why are we here?

If you would enjoyed this blog, you might like Gregory Copploe’s book ” I Am Pink” available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.